Coping With a Sexless Marriage
Can you Cope in a Sexless Marriage?
The negative effects of being in a sexless marriage are far reaching and can be quite dire for the relationship and for personal mental and physical health. Coping with a sexless marriage is therefore something that anyone stuck in this unfortunate situation needs to learn how to do.
Some of the things that must be endured include:
- Humiliation - Being rejected by ones spouse is not just annoying it is humiliating and soul destroying
- Self Esteem Issues - Linked to the humiliation many begin to blame how they look for their partners indifference.
- Depression - Living with constant rejection can spiral into clinical depression as this becomes the focus of all your problems in life.
- Infidelity - Men and women without a sexual partner frequently are tempted to cheat even if it makes them feel guilty and they still love their spouse.
- Divorce - Eventually for many people they give up and while they still may care for their partner the intimacy that was the grease in the gears dries up and the whole machine grinds to a halt.
So just how does one cope with all these problems?
Help on Coping With a Sexless Marriage
There are many ways you can approach each separate issue that is plaguing you because of your sexless spouse but here is one essential thing you must so before you can help your spouse to a normal healthy sexual relationship again.
You must learn to be a whole person.
This does not mean abandoning your spouse to go explore the world or something but it does mean that if you are not coping with your marriage you must build a stronger sense of self. There are three reasons for this.
1. Strong People Are Attractive - Both men and women react to strong people with a defined sense of self. This should not be mistaken for ego however as that is just being full of yourself! One problem in many relationships is that you merge so closely you lose who you once were to become a wife or a husband. Reclaim your whole person and also be a wife of husband! This will often stimulate attraction again form your spouse.
2. Stronger Sense of Self Copes Better - If you have a defined sense of what you want and how to achieve it outside of your marital troubles it can help you cope with those problems. The more you focus on your sexless marriage the more you become anxious and frustrated. Taking time to explore the other things in life gives you a chance to change the focus and become stronger in the process.
3. Being Secure Help You Help Others - The person with the problem in the sexless marriage is not the one who wants to make love and be intimate. That is normal and healthy. The person who really has the issues in the spouse who has lost the desire. While the causes of this are varied you will not be in a position to help if you have been brought low by the whole situation too! Being in charge of your own emotions and being self fulfilled in other aspects will give you the strength to help and to not be too intertwined with their suffering to be enmeshed in it.
Don't Just Cope in a Sexless Marriage!
I dislike the with coping to be honest. It strikes me as a term used to describe carrying a burden for which there is no relief. Just suck it up and keep moving ... this does not need to be the case.
Good communication is the real key to fixing rather than just coping with a sexless marriage. Uncovering the reasons behind your spouses change in sexual attitude is vital to do before you can take any real substantial action to mend this rift before it spirals into something worse.
For more information about healing the gap between you and your partner to reclaim the passion and intimacy of a healthy sexual marriage i recommend the following guide.
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Last updated on April 10, 2010
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